So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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