I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
