is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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