I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
