roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
