So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
