Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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