Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
