She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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