that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
