It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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