Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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