you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
