he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
