I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
