She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there was a trapeze. enough said
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize