Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Farmville is her only friend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
