Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize