i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
