my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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