Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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