hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
