My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
