She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
