I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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