I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
