Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
did you just send me my own nude
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize