I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I believe in your delicious
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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