so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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