I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
