Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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