He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
