Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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