also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
