My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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