Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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