When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
where am i from again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
