How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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