I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
