she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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