shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
