I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
