if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
