You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
