Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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