One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
