Pappa wants mamma naked
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
