evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just google imaged poop.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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