So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
