if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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