I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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