Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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