Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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