I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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