why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
