and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did i walk over a car last night?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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