Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
