Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
