I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
