Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just threw up on my dentist
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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