Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
