she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
