Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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