he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
there is glitter all over my balls
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