sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize