I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
