You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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