yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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