I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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